Putting yourself first is a healthy, beneficial, and necessary habit. Practicing such an art is not an act of selfishness, because loving the person you see in the mirror every morning, without excuses, limits or differences, means you know how to take care of yourself, it means investing in your personal life , well-being and good quality of life. Those who take care of themselves as they deserve can offer others the best version of themselves.
Socrates himself in his teachings focused on the concept of self-care or epimeleia heautou. Later, Michel Foucault studied the subject further, concluding that only when a person learns to truly know himself, by devoting himself to and valuing himself, can he achieve true freedom.
The truth is that we don't know when and why they put into our heads the idea that practicing this art is an act of selfish interest. There has been confusion with the terms, to the point that altruism and respect for others seem to contradict self-care or putting yourself first. This is a completely false idea.
Without realizing it, we have cultivated relationships based on the principle that the more we give to others, the more they love and value us. In reality, we do nothing but abandon our self-love in a corner, thinking that we are entitled and that this is what others expect of us.
It is best to avoid this unhealthy practice, it is often a source of problems, frustrations, anxiety, sleepless nights and even physical pain.
Those who don't put themselves first get tired
When a person does not put themselves first to fill their agenda, mind and will with thoughts like: "I have to do this or that", "they expect more from me", "I have to do this for that person" ”, in reality it does nothing but get tired. Lose all energy, identity, desires and above all self-esteem. The fact is that we often adopt these attitudes without thinking, without reflecting for a moment if we really want to do that favor, that pleasure.
Psychologists explain to us that we fall into the automatism of doing, performing, rationalizing these actions as something natural and necessary. Because if we are useful to others, then we are worth something. This rule does not always give the desired results, in fact, sometimes quite the opposite.
In these cases, the consequences are as devastating as they are sad. If we perceive that our constant efforts and sacrifices are not appreciated, we develop a very critical view of ourselves, we feel guilty for our naivety, devotion and excessive trust in others. This inner voice can sometimes be very cruel and it doesn't take long for symptoms such as muscle aches, fatigue, digestive problems, infections, headaches, hair loss...
To learn to take care of ourselves
There are many people who find themselves trapped in other people's lives, like locomotives moving down the wrong tracks. They carry burdens that do not belong to them and do not give themselves a single day off to be themselves, to take care of themselves, to satisfy only their desires. Such a situation endangers your balance and health, so it is necessary to change your approach.
*This article was published by Bota.al and reposted by Tiranapost.al
How to learn to put yourself first in 4 steps:
People who don't put themselves first have automated the answer "yes". For every question they answer with this magic word as if it were impossible to control. It is necessary to put an end to this impulse, so when a person asks us, suggests or orders something, first of all we need to be silent for a moment. We should avoid giving an immediate answer and give ourselves time to reflect and honestly evaluate whether or not we want to fulfill the request that is made of us. Let's learn to say "no".
To learn to take care of ourselves, to serve ourselves, it is necessary to manage the distance, increasing or shortening it, with everything that surrounds us. There comes a point when we automate the need to do, do, do to the point of losing perspective. In this sense, saying "no, I can't" is not the end of the world.
It is never wrong to collect some phrases that at certain moments help us protect our needs, identity or time. "I'm sorry, but I can't do what you ask of me right now", "Thank you for thinking of me, but I need time to myself", "At the moment I don't feel like doing what you ask of me, I have to devote myself to my life."
We all know how certain conversations start and then end with a request. Those kind-hearted conversations that eventually lead to a supposed favor we must fulfill. Since we are more than used to these strategies, we must learn to keep them at bay. Let us avoid fatigue and cultivate determination.
In conclusion, these 4 aspects cannot be learned overnight. You have to have the will and make a decision to take care of yourself and understand that putting yourself first is actually a necessary and vital action. Over time, these strategies become automated, always in the name of respect for others and for self. / bota.al
