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If you use any of these 6 toxic phrases, your relationship is in trouble

If you use any of these 6 toxic phrases, your relationship is in trouble

By Cortney Warren/ As a Harvard-trained psychologist who works with couples, I've seen relationships quickly go downhill when one or both partners talk down to each other.

Contempt is dangerous because it not only attacks a person's character, but assumes a position of superiority over him.

Toxic phrases that can slowly destroy your relationship


1. "You don't deserve me."

Contemptuous language communicates to your partner that you believe they are less than you, which can damage their self-esteem.

2. "Don't ask me anymore. Everything is fine." (When it isn't.)


Passive-aggressive language prevents partners from talking about their problems directly and openly. This makes conflict resolution difficult and can make both parties feel insecure.

3. "I hate you".

Saying this phrase overgeneralizes current feelings and creates uncertainty even in good times. Your partner may be thinking, "Does he really love me now if he told me 'I hate you' last week?"

4. "You are a bad parent."

Partners know each other's insecurities. Language that exploits these weaknesses isn't just hurtful—it undermines trust by taking someone's weakness and using it to make yourself look like the better person.

5. "You're going crazy."

Language that manipulates or distorts reality with the goal of making your partner doubt themselves undermines their perception of reality.

6. "It's over for me."

Language that threatens the end of your relationship - like "I'm leaving" or "I want to break up" - creates instability and uncertainty.