There is an explanation why most men leave fixed 3 months after intercourse
None of my relationships lasted more than three months. It's like a cycle. We go out on dates, get to know each other and ask those questions: What is your biggest fear?
And 3 months after the connection, suddenly he disappears. He leaves, he leaves me.
Sometimes because one of us moves to another city, sometimes because separation comes naturally. But I really have no idea why it happens. That a connection can be maintained even remotely.
I talked to a friend of mine and we realized it was not just my problem. The same thing happened to her. They disappeared 3 months after the connection.
In conclusion, there is a scientific explanation why the men disappeared 3 months after the relationship.
It has to do with what is called evolutionary psychology, a theory that basically says that people get involved in two different mating strategies: short-term mating and long-term mating, explains psychotherapist Jack Worthy.
Short-term mating occurs when you only seek out sexual chemistry (such as summer vacation ties). Long-term mating occurs when people are looking for more permanent partners.
Here’s where it gets tricky: While most living species (referring to the animal world) require either short-term mating or long-term mating (99.9% for breeding purposes), humans do both. This is where the stalemate begins.
"Male sexual psychology can confuse short-term and long-term attraction at the beginning of a relationship," says Worth, and that makes things complicated. This confusion is related to psychology, but also to male hormones.
Men tend to feel different emotions in the first three months of the relationship.
"The first wave of male attraction tends to be more physical and unconscious. It is an intuitive, animalistic attraction. "And if you feel that attraction to someone with a strong intensity, you can believe that you are falling in love," says Worth.
This is why men can make promises at the beginning or talk about the future with you because they believe you both have one. So they are not necessarily lying. They probably believe so. Women differ from men. If men first feel sexual attraction and then others come, for them it is the opposite. They feel sexual attraction at a later stage.
90 days after the connection, so almost 3 months later the euphoria of men falls and this is the stage when his intentions become clearer. This is the moment when he realizes that no, he is not yet ready for a long-term mating.
The good news is that there are several ways to prevent you from suffering such separation again.
First make sure his words match the actions. He can tell you that he loves you endlessly, and that he has never felt this way, but does he support this with actions?
Also, it is probably the best choice not to have casual sex even for the first 90 days to keep things under control given that his hormones are at high levels. You can later decide if it is the hormones or the feeling of love that drives this relationship.
Do not be afraid to set clear boundaries.
Lastly, invest in yourself through therapy, journalism, meditation or yoga. Nourish social life and soul. Work and strive for career. That way you will have some problems less anyway.
* Cosmopolitan article was adapted in Albanian by Tiranapost.al