Learning to overcome negative thoughts may be simple, but it's not always easy. Becoming aware of the emotional state and letting go of painful thought patterns without fighting them will take practice. If you're still struggling with how to stop the thought, that's okay. Don't blame yourself for it. What we need most during difficult times is not more self-criticism, but more self-love, compassion, and patience.
Here's a simple five-step process to help free your mind:
The first step is to stop and start breathing deeply to calm the nervous system. Deep breaths draw our focus from the mind and connect us to our body, anchoring us in the present moment. This allows us to become aware of our emotions and also to detach from them.
Stopping creates space between our emotions and actions, giving us the opportunity to choose a new response instead of repeating the same conditioned responses that keep us in the cycle of suffering. Without this space, change cannot exist.
The second step is to ask yourself, "Does this thought make me feel the way I want?" or "Do I want to continue to suffer?" These questions remind us of the power we have to choose whether we want to suffer emotionally or not. If we want to continue to feel the way we do, we can choose to do so. We've all had times when we're just not ready to let the negativity go, and that's okay. But if we want peace, we choose to turn away from the thought that causes us suffering.
The third step is to realize that you have the choice to stop and let the negative thought go. At this point, you have to decide what you want. Is it the peace, or the continuation of the thought that is causing the suffering? This can be scary, but if you trust yourself and believe that you will be okay no matter what happens, it becomes easier to let go.
The fourth step is to say and repeat to yourself, "Thought is the root cause of suffering." Reminding yourself of this weakens your thinking, making it easier to manage. Repeating this phrase to yourself as a mantra when you begin to experience negative emotions is a powerful practice. It is difficult for our mind to have multiple thoughts at the same time, so repeating a single phrase forces the brain to focus only on it, and not on anything else. The reason mantras are effective is not only because of the power of words to influence our beliefs, but because they reduce or stop our thinking.
The fifth step is to experience your emotions fully. Most of our destructive habits and behaviors come from avoiding and suppressing emotions. When we ignore or fight our feelings, we only make the suffering worse.
