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6 Toxic Phrases Narcissists Always Use

6 Toxic Phrases Narcissists Always Use

The world is full of difficult personalities, but one that is impossible to avoid is the narcissist. They are usually the most insecure people, but they have developed a way to appear ultra-confident.

A psychologist who studies narcissism has discovered six phrases they always use:

1. "I don't want to do this for me, but..."

Statements like this show that narcissistic people know they shouldn't dominate the conversation, yet they do it anyway. It's like a pseudo-denial that gives them permission to focus only on themselves.

How to handle it: If you get into a conversation with a narcissist, prepare for their moment of history. If it's interesting, listen to it. You can even treat it like a podcast. But if you're hoping for a two-way conversation, look elsewhere.

2. "I'm sorry you feel that way."

Narcissists have a hard time admitting fault and this is their classic attempt at apologizing. But it's actually more of a diversion.

By this phrase, they mean that your feelings are your own business and that they will not take any responsibility for their behavior.

How to deal with it: No remorse, honest, no matter what the mistake was, they will likely do it again. My advice is to just disconnect. In order not to get hurt in the future, it is often better to see people as they really are.

3. "Why are you doing this to me?"

Narcissists have an amazing ability to switch from being the perpetrator to being the victim.

You could be the one with the flu or a rough week at work. But if despite what you are fighting, it will be used to fit as their problem.

How to deal with it: You can regain a degree of power through awareness. Otherwise, you may find yourself constantly wondering if you are actually guilty. Seek support to remind yourself that it is not your fault.

4. “I am a busy person. I don't have time for that."

The hallmarks of a narcissist are entitlement, a lack of empathy, and an inability to maintain reciprocal relationships. Not only are they unable to understand another person's needs, but they also ignore them.

Si ta trajtoni atë: Njihni kufizimet e tyre. Ata ka të ngjarë të mos gjejnë kohë për ju nëse nuk kanë nevojë për diçka. Këto marrëdhënie shpesh janë ekuivalente me të shkuarit në një pus të zbrazët, kështu që bëni ç’të mundeni për të nxitur mbështetjen e pavarur nga narcisisti.

5. “Shpresoj ta dini se me kë po ngatërroni”.

Kjo taktikë e kërcënimit të varur dhe mundësia e hakmarrjes është se si ato krijojnë një iluzion fuqie dhe një ndjenjë frike tek ju. Shumica e njerëzve nuk duan të përballen me këtë kërcënim të perceptuar, kështu që ata pajtohen.

Si ta trajtoni atë: Kjo mund të jetë shqetësuese, veçanërisht nëse keni të bëni me dikë që ka mani për t’i bërë njerëzit e tjerë të ndihen të mjerë. Dokumentacioni është kyç. Ruani të gjitha emailet dhe mesazhet. Nëse ka një problem të vërtetë sigurie, punoni me autoritetet lokale për të hartuar një plan.

6. "It's not fair."

Narcissists believe that there should be one set of rules for them and a separate set of rules for everyone else. When they have to comply, or a consequence is applied, it's a reminder that they're not special.

How to handle it: You may be tempted to placate them, perhaps out of guilt or to avoid conflict. But that would set an impossible precedent. Don't try to be a person who tries to make life "fair" for them by making unreasonable personal sacrifices.