Opinion

Party Meetings

Party Meetings

By Edison Ypi / Shuli opened the party gathering.
Shuli said: Dear thieves and prominent thugs from all parts of Albania, we must do our best to get all the votes of all entities, sectors, teams, companies, units, regiments, battalions. Like those of sector 7 of section 3/5, even those of divisions 9 and 15, which are barns of foolish votes that can easily be harvested with the sickle of Stalin's flag, if that flag with that star, that sickle and that hammer, will we know how to valvate it with the right yield and with the right enthusiasm and emulation. Otherwise, the respective police teams of Zone 13 and subsection 7, along with those of our enemies' block 23 and garrison 19, will snatch all our votes, and win them, while we are left with grapes in hand.
Fascinated by Shuli's brilliant revolutionary rhetoric, after being silent for a moment, the hall erupted in rhythmic applause like soldiers' boots on Berat cobblestones.
After Shuli, Tyta took the floor.
Congratulations o Shul how beautifully you spoke with all the figures, fractions, emulations. With this speech we get the votes by torturing the electorate. But we also fill Albania with beautiful fools from those we need for the next time, from those who eat and drink, dress and create, from those idiots who can not connect two words. But there is a problem. With figures and symbols, people look like tools on the shelves, like robots, like George Orwell characters. Therefore, please, use the wooden tongue, preferably iron, but do not overdo it because it paints us off. That said Tyta and leaned vertically against the wall.
After Tyta, Kondaku took the floor.
In this Meeting for the fate of the country with genius discussions like Shuli, Kondaku started, I combine Tyta's steel concern with my wooden fear of linguistic excesses.
Thepi intervened. The victory that we are anxiously awaiting, stressed Thepi, is conditioned not only by the cunning communist use of the wooden language, but also by other factors such as: human devotion, belief in God, genetic predisposition, various pathologies, passions, vices , virtitet. What is victory in its essence, I as Thep say that it depends on the relationship of work with theft, hence the question: Why if you work to curse, while if you steal to brag? This is what we, the thieves and scoundrels, must do in this Party Meeting. Otherwise we lose the victory like Xhaferri bun. Do you know anything about this my dear Shqekëza?
I know and I do not know, said Shqekëza. Ask the Trigger.
Heard you mention the name, pale face because of gossip, after being filled with deep breathing, word got legs:
I Pads that last speak with one finger withdrawal after which comes a death ... continue ?
No-no, some voices were heard. You are moving to become hated.
Këmbëza sat down, Baruti got up.
What is the secret of victory? Baruti laughed and asked the participants of the Meeting. I know some of you tell me; For a deep and deserved victory, in what position should the Moon be, at what hour should the eclipse appear, what should be the weather, how much is the ambient temperature, what is the humidity of the air, what background music, how thick should it be be llokma, how elegant should the bones be, how long should the licking last, what famous program should the TV show give, which bartenders should lie like pigs after emptying the cups? Come on, talk. You are all wet. I'm the only dry one.
Gunpowder, you are not bad, but do not forget that without me you can not turn on, jumped Kapsolla. In my opinion, continued Kapsolla, victory is not work, nor sacrifice, victory is joy.
Aq u desh.
The debate flared up.
The meeting caught fire.
Arose spoke with pathos Cartridges, Cartoon, Piston, Spear, and finally Bullet.
With the pine eye, the forehead up, the heart full, the orators lifted to the skies the deeds and contribution of each one on the battlefield, in the middle of the arena, fighting tooth and nail with the electorate to the last drop of blood to extort the vote .
It was decided that the recording of the Meeting be broadcast at the highest viewing hour by the national television "Kaka TV". Productive to be spirals. Directed by Skilipec. Tulit scenography. The text was engraved by Fat.
Taking on the delicate task, Fat created a hymn in the form of a rhythmic martial poem. The fat poem was warmly applauded by the audience until the hands bled, the eyes got wet, the ears became deaf, in the gutter of the Ass sweat flowed.
It seemed as if after the tearful poem of the Fat the Party Meeting would be closed, when suddenly Bytha arose;
Tha Bytha:
Friends, do not mess around, do not hang out. In these difficult times, no matter how hard it may be, no matter how great the quarrel becomes, no matter how dangerous it is to light a fire, no matter what the Nation needs, all of us thugs and thieves, prepare the barns, sharpen the claws, call to help George Orwell, to refine Newspeak, to tighten ranks, to stretch step, to sharpen knives, to prepare for plums. Shall I tell you this, so that, under the orders of Commander Shuli, with the advice of Commissar Llozi, with the help of Captain Plumbi, we can end and end Albania endlessly, so that we can get the black water out.