13 questions to ask yourself before returning to your ex
The news of the reunion between Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck, after 17 years after they broke up their engagement, highlighted the topic of reunions and the question: Can I come back with the former? And it makes sense to also ask if getting back with the ex would be the key to joy especially for those who after separation are not that things have gone well for them, or who have not yet found another love. The truth is that there have been many stories of reunions between partners, who again found the common path and spent the rest of their lives happy.
It is important to note that every relationship is different, and while some may find happiness in returning to the former, others have the happiness of staying away from the past. But if you are thinking of going back with your ex, or one of your exes, you should first ask yourself a few questions, and then ask your ex.
1-Why did you split up?
The cause of separation is issue number 1 between a couple that needs to be addressed and consumed through a quiet conversation. Dissatisfaction or actions may be detected that you may not be aware of but that may hurt your partner.
2-What were you and your ex doing in your lives and in your relationship a few months before you split up?
How was your life before you split up? What about his? Did you feel happier or more anxious?
3-What actions did you take to address the issues between you?
Nëse nuk ke bërë asgjë për të zgjidhur një problem që ka ndikuar në lidhjen tuaj a do ishit gati ta bënit tani e tutje?
4-Çfarë kërkon për të ardhmen?
A bën pjesë ai në planet e tua për të ardhmen?
5-A ishte e mjaftueshme koha e qëndruarit larg njëri-tjetrit?
A e ndjen vërtetë mungesën e tij? A të bëri mirë apo keq qëndrimi larg?
6-A jeni të dy të vetëdijshëm se çfarë nuk shkoi me lidhjen tuaj?
Diskutoni mbi situata që keni kaluar dhe ku menduat që ish-i gaboi, nëse ende nuk ia ke thënë.
7-Çfarë kërkoni secili nga një lidhje?
Gjeni shkakun e ndarjes dhe nëse arrihet 'kompromisi' kjo pengesë mund të mos jetë më e pranishme këtë radhë.
8-Si kanë qenë lidhjet e tjera pas ndarjes?
Para se të kthehesh tek ish-i duhet të analizosh disa gjëra me veten. A je ndjerë mirë muaj pas ndarjes? Je lidhur sërish? Ke qëndruar single? Pse?
9-A ke ndryshuar?
Change does good to everyone. Ask yourself if with these changes you have undergone the former it is appropriate to have another opportunity. Or you yourself for that.
10-What actions have you taken to change?
It would be good to understand if you are tired of each other and if a second chance is needed.
11-Can you take things slower?
If you rush, you will be wrong. Give yourself and your ex time to restart calmly and differently from the past.
12-What would you do if you went out again, specifically what would you do in the first meeting?
You need to start over with new things, not the old model. If this meeting will be like the previous ones, things will not go well.
13-Will you be fine if the meeting does not go well?
Make sure you are emotionally good and prepared that things may not go as well as you thought.