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Can we decide to stop loving? The answer of science

Can we decide to stop loving? The answer of science

Anyone who experiences a breakup (whether due to divorce, death or other reasons) knows that it is not easy to recover and that it can take years to fall in love again. Being able to stop loving someone seems crazy, but it can be a process in our hands.

As the New York Times reports, Dr. Helen E. Fisher, a biological anthropologist and senior researcher at the Kinsey Institute in New York, said "we can work for her." Fisher studied the anatomy of love and in 2005 studied the brain image of 100 people using MRI to find circles related to romantic love.

The doctor found that the area of ??the brain called the tegmental ventral, or VTA, that of stimulating hunger and thirst, is activated when we are in love: so trying to stop the lover is a bit like stopping being hungry or thirsty, i.e. a very difficult thing.

However, there is a way to overcome it: this is to treat the situation as if we were trying to overcome an addiction. Just as we would with cigarette packs if we want to quit smoking, we should throw away the letters and memories associated with that person and not keep in touch or ask mutual friends how that person is.

The study conducted by Professor Sandra Langeslag can also help. She has developed a method against the wounds of love: generating negative thoughts about the person followed by a dose of distraction.

Her research, published in Plos One, found that with this method people were able to intentionally reduce their love, even if not completely erase it. The average recovery time, according to survey data collected by its subjects, was six months, although the recovery time depends on several factors, including the duration of the relationship.