Should they be kept secret in a relationship?
Is it always good to tell your partner the truth?
Sincerity is definitely important and rewarding in all aspects.
However, there are exceptions. Secrets in a couple can also have good sides. For example, they can help avoid unnecessary and unproductive arguments and bad humor.
Therefore, before you open up too much with your boyfriend, think carefully. Why?
A little privacy is needed
Remember that being honest and transparent with your partner does not necessarily mean telling him or her everything about you. If you do not describe your day in detail to your partner, it does not mean that you are hiding something from him.
Remember that there is a right to privacy: if what you are not telling the other person does not affect you, remove any guilt.
If you do not want to talk about the quarrel with your boss, the gift you received from your best friend, no problem these are not secrets. In fact, a little mystery is good for the couple.
We do not even tell ourselves everything
. To think that a couple should tell each other everything is a bit naive. Having some secrets is not only normal but also healthy and unavoidable. After all, do we even have secrets with ourselves?
Not all unspoken are negative signs. Only hidden truths that can affect the partner in some way and that, at worst, can affect the way the couple interacts. A betrayal, for example, can be analyzed from different perspectives.
White lies are allowed
Of course, the secrets in a couple are not all the same. There are complete lies, half-truths and white lies.
In principle, if small omissions and innocent distortions of reality are allowed, the biggest lies should be avoided.
However, it depends on the situation and from lie to lie.
If the secret is "heavy" but serves to not unnecessarily hurt the other, to protect him or her or the couple from a reality that threatens to get them into crisis, then keeping it may not be a bad idea.
Likewise, if a seemingly innocent little secret can hurt the other or the couple, it would be good to find out even though on paper it seems small and harmless.
Being honest can be very liberating
If you are in a crisis and do not know if the secret you are keeping is "good" or "bad" try to analyze the issue from a different perspective. Is it really worth the effort to not find out? Sometimes, telling the truth can be very liberating and not as catastrophic as one might think.
Try this simple exercise: try to imagine what evil could happen if you were honest. Imagine the worst case scenario. Thus you may suddenly discover that, after all, the situation may not be so catastrophic.
If you are still not convinced, do the same exercise to the contrary. Imagine what could happen, good and bad. These little exercises will help you make the right decision.
Sekretet në një çift nxjerrin shumë të lënduar
Edhe pse mbajtja e disa sekreteve mund të nxisë mirëqenien e çiftit, mbajtja e shumë sekreteve është padyshim e gabuar. Ndaj kini kujdes.
Ja çfarë rrezikoni nëse e teproni:
- mund të humbni besimin e partnerit tuaj;
- mund të keni vështirësi të mëdha për të komunikuar natyrshëm. Nga frika se - mos e tradhtoni veten, mund të përfundoni duke mos ndier më të lirë për të folur;
- nga frika se mos zbuloheni, mund të tërhiqeni nga partneri juaj;
How to tell a truth?
Did you realize that some secrets in a couple are not helpful and you want to open up? Very well, but be careful how you do it. First, make sure your partner is in the mood and in a good emotional state to listen to your confession. If he is angry, tired or disappointed about something, postpone the clarification for later.
Do not get caught by the impulse of sincerity in the middle of the supermarket or during a dinner with friends. The situation and the place also have their importance. Better choose a quiet, intimate and peaceful environment.
At this point, tell the truth directly and clearly. Be willing to answer the other person's questions.