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After I lost my husband, reading the works of Marcus Aurelius brought me out of the darkness of depression

After I lost my husband, reading the works of Marcus Aurelius brought me out of

Jamie Lombarid is Professor of Philosophy and Religion at Bergen College in New Jersey.

"When I was a child, when I was a teenager, books saved me from despair: they convinced me that culture is the highest of all values" - Simone de Beauvoir

It is a popular misconception that being a stoic means being detached from all emotion and cold as snow. This interpretation of Stoicism is wrong, because the philosophers who spread this doctrine did not speak against the deceased himself, but advised that feelings could be used constructively in order to fulfill a good and constructive life.

After losing my spouse to a rare disease, I had no hope in life other than to forget my job and the various readings I had for college. When I picked up the book Meditations by Marcus Aurelius I could not have foreseen what a colossal impact it would have on my life.

The pages of this book held within them so wisely that I did not keep notes because I would have to underline every line of the book. It is no exaggeration to say that Aurelius quotes saved me from the depression that had gripped me. He gave me the weapons to fight the fear of being a single mother of two who lost her husband at the age of 33 from an illness I had never even heard of before.

I would be lying if I told you that reading saved me directly from panic and depression, but it gave me the opportunity to access some thoughts that by repeating them every day gave me the opportunity to get back on my feet and stop worrying about what happened. that are beyond my control. I learned to use my strange and often contradictory emotions for my own good and as a weapon for survival.

Now a few years after my husband's death I return to those verses and discover something new in them, which reminds me that some things in life are immutable and that the fear of the future is futile and serves only to undermine the present.

The passage which is most heartbreaking to me is when Aurelius explains what it is like to lose a loved one. It can happen to anyone and it's painful ... we mourn and do not know if our man is in a better place. But, we have gained a precious perspective on the reality of life that gives us the opportunity to understand that not everything that worries us in everyday life is important. We get closer to the people who are dear to us and realize that life is temporary and that moments fly by never to return. Every moment of joy is a treasure to be preserved and not a thought to be lost due to the stresses and problems of everyday life. And the positive thing about the destruction of an object is that we can rebuild it as we want ...

Adapted from "Aeon Psyche" / tiranapost.al