Histori Personale

I have betrayed every loved one I have had and that is why I have not repented

I have betrayed every loved one I have had and that is why I have not repented

We were sitting very close to each other in his bed. I felt I could not resist them. Everything came by itself and was not anticipated. We never thought we could have anything more, we were friends. Moreover I was in a serious relationship and Matt was a mutual friend even of my boyfriend.

Before you hate me for what will come next, I tell you I have never felt so good in my life. Matt and I had sex every day for the first two years of the relationship, sometimes even more than once a day, but not later.

I was 21 years old when I started to feel disgust for having sex. I loved my boyfriend, but I had no sexual desire. I did not know until that moment the difference between loving someone and just needing to have it.

This was the first time I betrayed my boyfriend. I had never betrayed. So far I have betrayed 3. I only lied to them for a few days or weeks because then I broke up with each of them. But I do not regret every case of fraud. I do not regret it because each experience taught me essential things about myself and my sexuality. I am only 20 years old.

The first betrayal made me realize that in fact my relationship with Matt was over. He was never there for me. It made no sense for me to expect it.

I do not think cheating was a major crime, nor do I promote it. But I think when you are young you have to understand how the mind, heart and body work.

* Cosmopolitan Source